I still remember the nerves I had when I asked my then-boyfriend to marry me back in August of 2017. Despite living in separate countries the entire time, we had been dating for eight years and some odds months by that point, so I knew what the answer would be. But it’s still weird how nervous one gets asking what is probably one of the most important questions they’ll ask in their life – and how long that second before you hear “of course” goes by.
Thirteen months later found us officially tying the knot; with it came a series of changes I was prepared for but still, to quote the Fresh Prince, got my life all flip-turned upside down. In the span of the week, I had gotten rid of majority of my belongings, packed up everything that was left, gotten married and moved to Canada alongside my two adorable cats.
The first few months were particularly rough. I’ve always seen myself as an independent, but suddenly being thirteen hours away from my family & friends had me feeling homesick like I’d never been before. While I prefer the cooler weather, I was faced with a winter that began before October had even started. And having worked since I was about to turn seventeen, I realized unemployment (as I needed a visa to work in a foreign country) isn’t nearly as fun as it’s portrayed on sitcoms and reality shows. I had to learn to talk about things that were on my mind and/or bothering me rather than let them simmer inside me since I had someone in the same residence as me who could tell when I wasn’t in a good mood. I also spent a while feeling like I was a burden on my husband, as he was the only one working and suddenly he was having to pay to support another grown man and two more cats.
With all of that came the realization of just how much I loved my husband, and how much he loved me. I think back to those early weeks (months, even) of adjustment and think to myself how there’s really nobody else I could’ve handled all of it with. Though the process of immigration has take longer than I wanted or expected it to, every step forward with it – moving to a new place where I’m able to have my name on the lease and some of the bills; having my license finally switch from an Ohio ID to an Ontario ID; finally having all of the documents to send to our lawyer – has felt like a milestone. In the end, I know that there’s nobody else I would’ve rather done this all with.